abah

Hi Encik Kamaruddin bin Mohamed Sharis. Yang berusia tepat 44 hari ini. Tapi selalu cakap "I'm still 28, 34,40 je okaaaay". Yang berasal dari Tanjung Karang tapi sibuk cakap "Abah kan dari France sebab tu bila atuk cakap dengan abah Nana tak faham" HMMMM Tanjung France Karang boleh la. Nyeh.

Yes dad, you're 44 today! No more perasan 28 ok?

Happy Birthday dear abah. Nana takboleh describe macamana Nana sayang abah. 


Thank you for being a good dad to me.
Thank you for being there for me since I was small, until now. Hope you can always be there for me forever, bah.
Thank you abah. Thank you sebab kerja kuat & selalu bagi apa yang Nana nak.
Semoga abah panjang umur, because Nana, mama, adik can't live without you.
Semoga abah diberi kesihatan yang baik, jauh dari penyakit. So that you can do whatever you like. (Hari Sabtu Ahad pun nak pergi ofis, mancing blabla)
Semoga abah & kita sekeluarga dimurahkan rezeki.
Semoga abah happy selalu. Sorry for all my mistakes that I've done before this towards you. Believe me, abah I'll try my best to be a good daughter / make you happy for the rest of your life.
Semoga sentiasa hensem ok! :')

Back in '98 or '99. I love you more than anything. 

Swing swing.

Tolong lah bagi pinjam bahu. I need it. Aku stress.

 I need someone to talk to. I can't handle this by myself. I didn't mean to be rude. But sometimes, I cannot deal with your attitude. We need to work our ass off. We need to struggle. We don't have much time. I dislike doing last minute work. Please understand. I didn't mean to be rude. But sometimes, somehow, I need to show my feelings, my thoughts. Make it obvious. So you people can see, can understand how I feel.

Patience. Patience. That's all I need.

Sampai bila.

I really am.

I hate it when my brain told me not to hear all of  'your/my/our songs', but my heart wants it.

I'm calling you. Yes you.

Can we stop being strangers?

Aku rasa kelakar, the reason kenapa aku kau jadi macam ni bukannya salah dari kita pun. Aku rasa.
Sebab orang lain, kan?
Kelakar bila ingat, dulu masa 'kita' wujud lagi, 'kita' jarang bergaduh.
Tapi lepas 'kita' mati, 'kita' macam musuh.
Sampai satu tahap, aku rasa tak boleh nak maafkan 'orang lain' tu.
Aku tak kira orang nak kata apa, tapi aku rasa dia lah punca semua ni.

Can we stop being strangers?

Before i sleep.

Go away, please. Cek takmau dah dok pikiaq pasai hang lagi. Cek takut cek soghang ja dok pikiaq pasai hang, hang haram pun dak pikiaq pasai cek. Hm. 

Hey, I found this lyric ( I guess) or quote. Entah. But it's nice.. So nice. 

'It was never the same like we claimed it, and if you gotta go, then go, I couldn't change it.'

That's it for now. Goin to hit the sack now. Kenot weit for nex wik yu olls! :) toodles!

forever heart, October.

Happy 20th Anniversary mama, abah. Walaupun belum sampai the exact date which is on this 26th October, Nana still nak wish jugak. Semoga keluarga kita sentiasa bahagia & dimurahkan rezeki sampai bila-bila! Nana sayang mama & abah. Thank you for being good/sporting/fun/crazy parents to me & adik. I really hope that one day I can make mama dengan abah proud of me. InsyaAllah.

And also..

 
Thanks once again dear parents for the cake!! I really love it. Selama ni asyik berangan je nak dapat cake ada logo Arsenal. Tengok-tengok mama abah memang dah tempah awal-awal the cake for me & adik. Eventhough birthday aku lagi 2 minggu lebih, but I really had a blast last night. When Cik Shahrin selaku DJ malam tadi asyik pasang lagu 'Happy Birthday', I felt great! But still, tak se-special 28 haribulan ni lah kan :9
hehe. And adik, happy belated 16th birthday. Be a good son to mama abah, and a good brother to me okay?

Loves!

#

Note To Self.

Allah dengar doa aku setiap hari. Dan tiba-tiba, Allah tunjukkan aku apa yang aku patut tahu. Boleh dikatakan, apa yang aku doa, hampir-hampir nak menjadi. Tapi aku tak tahu aku patut rasa gembira ke tidak dengan apa yang aku tengok tu. Aku rasa doa aku tu macam jahat je. Bukannya aku doakan agar sesapa mati or accident patah tangan kaki, aku just doakan yang Allah tolong jaga hati aku, jaga perasaan aku. Aku taknak emosial lagi. And so, aku minta Allah jauhkan aku dari mereka. Dan aku juga minta Allah jauhkan dia dari dia. Jahat tak tu?

Secara jujur, bila aku tengok 'hidangan indah' depan mata semalam, menjerit lompat aku. Jerit-jerit, peluk-peluk dengan housemates nak kongsi kegembiraan. The housemates.. I just love them. They never fail to understand me. Seriously. But then, lepas-lepas tu aku rasa 'Ish, patut ke aku berperasaan sebegini?'. Gembira bila melihat si dia dan si dia menjauh dari diri masing-masing. Bukan ke, kita patut mendoakan yang baik-baik saja untuk orang lain? Aku dah confused sebenarnya ni. And aku rasa, I shouldn't be that happy when aku dapat tengok apa yang aku dah lama nak tengok. Walaupun benda tu hampir nak sama dengan apa yang aku doakan. But still, ada sikit selit rasa 'Tak patut doh kau ni, Na.' So yeah, note to self : Jangan happy sangat, kelak kau akan menangis.

Ok lah, takmau lah post emo je sentiasa. Mari kita ceria(?) sikit.

Alhamdulillah, aku selesa sekarang. Selesa. Bila kat rumah, family yang aku utamakan. Bila kat Unisel, studies and my housemates yang aku utamakan. Aku tak kisah kalau aku ada mereka-mereka ini je dalam hidup aku. They're superb. Family & housemates. I feel safe when I'm home. I feel calm when I see my parents. I feel loved when adik take good care of me eventhough I'm his sister. Macam aku ni adik dia pulak. And when I'm in Unisel, it's really a good feeling to be with my housemates. Layan So Nyeo Shi Dae like hell. Play Kinect Xbox from YouTube with dearest Balqis petang-petang. Gelak kuat-kuat, trollin' people sesuka hati, etc etc. Not to forget, Emir yang selalu belikan aku makanan dan sentiasa wish Goodluck, All the best kat aku. Semoga kau dengan Yaya ok selaluuuu ye.

Loves, Yana.